Since becoming a stay-at-home mom I really don't recognise myself anymore.
If you’d asked me 5 years ago what my immediate future held, I’d have told you something like owning my own television company and travelling the world.
Sometimes I get these out of body experiences where I look down at myself changing stinky diapers with one hand and trying to keep a bottle of milk upright with the other and think – is this really me?
In my former life as an entertainment journalist, I was invited out a lot. A free movie screening; the opening of a new club; complimentary concert tickets. It meant my weekends (and sometimes week days) were usually always busy.
Fast forward a few years and my main weekend outing consists of grocery shopping and, if I’m lucky, a few minutes of window shopping at Macy’s!
It was definitely hard adjusting to motherhood – especially in a new country, away from a dependable support system. Granted, it wasn’t like I had to learn a whole new language but there are times I feel like an alien in this place...I mean what is a soccer mom anyway?
Sometimes, especially when I watch an award show on TV, I crave that exciting atmosphere I used to be a part of. To be able to dip my toes into the world of entertainment again or see a film before everyone else does. I guess it’s the same for many women who’ve given up exciting careers to become full-time mothers.
But like it or not, I need to face the fact I will probably never be the woman I use to be. Or be able to 'hang' the way I use to. Nowadays my eye-lids start closing at 9pm and my mummy jeans would look really out of place at a club in the city.
Truth be told, it took a while but I am happy to accept that nothing is forever, and as my boys get older and I take those tentative steps back into the working world, I'll do so a more experienced individual, an expert at multi-tasking, with the patience of a saint.
And don't tell anyone, but when I catch my four-year-old dancing to a TV commercial or hear my three-year-old singing Dora’s theme song I get all the entertainment I could ever need!